How to get rid of Folger's coffee without drinking it and kill ants at the same time

Every time I walk to the orchard, I pass a large anthill.  I also notice a lot of ants on the peach tree that is closest to the anthill.  After passing the anthill about 15 times, I finally decided to do something about it.  And before I did anything, I went to google.  Always do your research, kids.  I searched "organic ant control" and clicked the first link.  I found this page:

http://doubledanger.com/living-green/10-tips-for-organic-ant-control

I'm a little uncertain as to whether some of these are truly organic, not that I really care, but maybe home remedies would have been a better description.  Vinegar, or relatively pure acetic acid, does not strike me as "organic".  But whatever.  One more reason to throw out the idea of "organic" and whatever else and focus on local foods that are grown with some transparency.  But, I digress..

Ants.

I noticed that coffee was on this list.  We were cursed with a plastic can of Folger's someone had left at our house.  It came in handy when we ran out of good coffee - yeah, I'm a snob, whatever, I just like what my tastebuds tell me to - but even then it tasted like crap so it was small solace for not having a good cup of joe to start the day.  This seemed like the perfect use for the coffee.  Not to mention what the description said:

3. You can use coffee grounds, chili powder, cinnamon, peppermint or black pepper.  All deter ants and if you pour coffee grounds directly on an anthill, they will eat the coffee grounds and implode.

 OK, I'm sold.  I wanted to see some ants implode.  Even though the thought of spraying them with vinegar and watching them slowly be burnt with acid (but its organic, bro) sounded appealing, it wasn't quite on par with imploding.  Imploding is even more cool than exploding, because it sounds like exploding, but its different.  Its backwards exploding.  Its sort of elusive.  Anyone can make something explode with the right (wrong) stuff, but can you make it implode?  Yeah, I didn't think so.

So I sprinkled the Folger's poison all around the anthill and stood back to watch the show.  Like many things you read on the internet, it turned out that the effects of the Folger's were quite exaggerated.  Maybe there are ants dying underground somewhere, I don't know, but they sure seem to be having a good time to me.  Immediately they began picking up the coffee grounds and moving them inside.  There was no sign of any ill effects.  In fact, there seemed to be a sense of rejoicing.  They're probably all hopped up on caffeine now, worker ant efficiency has gone through the roof, and they're branching out and starting new colonies all over in my garden.  Great.  At least I got rid of the Folger's.

I checked on the anthill again the next morning to assess any potential destruction, thinking that maybe it takes awhile for the Folger's toxin to do its dastardly work.  I know it works that way on me.  About a half hour after I drink a cup I'm running for the bathroom.  Insects are physiologically quite different than humans, perhaps it takes longer to work on them. There could be imploded ants all over the place by now, right?  Sure.

Unfortunately, there was little sign of any coffee grounds and it appeared the party was still raging from the night before.  The Folger's didn't seem to have any effect on the ants.  However, I must declare that the experience was a success.  I got rid of the Folger's, and I found a much better way to kill ants: spray them with vinegar and watch them burn.  I also learned a valuable lesson: when your goal is to kill something, don't get all cute and try to make it implode.  Keep it simple.  Just spray it with acid and watch it burn.  The James Bond villains could have learned a thing or two from ants.